Harvest Moon like Abortion on a Tuesday

Written by: Tamar Weir

October 10, 2024

Artist of Image: Tarn Ellis

jazz was playing in the background

i dont remember what song

and even if i did would it matter?

breathing

she said the more you relax and open

the faster this will be

repeating this mantra my mama told me

crying in the sterile brightly lit bathroom

no words were necessary just tears

communicating through walls

being held by the softness of fear

what does it mean to be entered?

and to submit to the sensation?

give up control to find peace

and resilience through opening

i opened to the feeling, pricking and fingers

something happening, me blue gown

mantra goes something like this

my ancestors my mama my people

have gone through this too

before me

and so will i

and before white walls, legality, illegality

fighting the politics of policing bodies

in the name of purity of the holy

tears and more tears

women who, do their job

and provide this service

termination of embryo

is nicer than saying

congratulations you just had an abortion

welcome to this new life

just a lil bit of blood, cramping and emptiness

cheap tea, but priceless warmth filling my palms

in the time afterwards, i will cry and remember those walls

the way we sign papers, pay the fee, insert the credit card

and walk away into the bright cracked sidewalks

i will buy myself lingerie thats on sale afterwards

eat street tacos with lots of salsa y limon

browse faces in a different way

pay attention to all the babies wrapped on the backs of

mamas

people walking in the heat, me slowly behind

finding a way to trust this body

who am i now ?

who belongs in this flesh that in an instant can be transformed?

"you are my first and it’s not the right time for me and you

but I give you a place in my heart “

these words echoed as I looked to the warm full moon

they say the harvest moon, in september

brings bounty, abundance, and the start of fall

the ending of hot summer days,

and enough light to help farmers harvest in rich soil

wisdom, moist, and growth

all in the tips of your fingers, dirty and the

purest

all of this the moon brings with

her

she shines the brightest in september

giving to all who need

as i sat on that rock

saw her rise into the view

people talking, but all i could think was

my abortion and the full moon

i will remember

the roundness of the both

spreading expanding and rising

to meet the world

what would have become

finishing what needs to be done.