CONDOMS CONDOMS CONDOMS
- tamarweir8
- Aug 18, 2025
- 7 min read
Written by: Tamar Simone Weir
CONDOMS <3 CONDOMS <3 CONDOMS <3
Some people love them, some people hate them, but condoms are truly a beautiful safe(r) sex item and creation.
Condoms are a popular and effective choice for contraception and protection against sexually transmitted infections (STIs). However, despite their widespread use, many people do not fully understand the consequences of using an expired condom. Knowing what happens when a condom expires is essential for maintaining sexual health and safety. And knowing how you show up as a sexually active person, or an ally for your buddies who are, is essential as a way being a sex positive baddie.
What is a Condom?
A condom is a barrier device, typically made from latex, polyurethane, or polyisoprene. It is designed to prevent pregnancy and reduce the risk of STIs during sexual intercourse. By covering the penis or lining the vagina, condoms create a physical barrier that keeps sperm from entering the reproductive system and from fluids exchanging.
Additionally, they are also the only form of contraception that protects against STIs. Condoms come in various sizes, thicknesses, textures, and even flavors, making them suitable for different preferences. Options include external condoms, which are worn on the penis, and internal condoms, which are designed to be placed inside the vagina.
Condoms are amazing, not only are they very effective, but once you learn the proper way to use a condom, it is easy to bring with you wherever you go... Put it in your bag, in your suitcase, in your work, in your school bag, you can literally take it with you anywhere!
There have been countless studies that suggest that programs and availability to condoms, have a significant result in lower pregnancy rates. This is not only foundational for the way we approach sexual health and autonomy of our lives/bodies, but transformational when we think about pleasure as a larger liberatory concept......
According to Planned Parenthood, when condoms are used perfectly they are 98% effective in preventing pregnancy and STI's. But..... they acknowledge that most people are not perfect, and their use of condoms aren't either. In that case, they are 87% effective. To me, this transparent information and approach is what I look for when I discuss sexual health and intimacy, as there is always nuance even within statistics and peoples experiences. Sex always has risks, wether the risk is emotional, physical, spiritual, mental, or a little bit of a lot of things, using your body like running or learning a new body based activity, there is a risk of hurting your body or feeling something.....
An article written by Emily Blackwood, adresses how within the umbrella of sexy actions, there are certain spicy sexy things you can do that would be considered in the safe sex as there is no fluid exchange or risk of pregnancy. But to me, I think safer sex in general encompasses even sexual acts that technically have no risk of pregnancy or STI's because there is still the emotional risk involved that can look and feel very different for each person. For example, for someone wanting to engage in a safe sex option, they might try dry humping. Its all fun and flirty, but then they realize they need more of a romantic energy with their sexual partner. And the other partner wants just a lilttle dry humping action and to go back to their work flow. Then there is a miscommunication, hurt, and the person thinking they were engaging in safe sex now has had an experience with sex that is more complicated than initially expected..... I could think of a million examples, but the point is that being intentional is always necessary as we embark on what it means for us to engage in safer sex. And our needs from a sexual partner in order to make a sexual scene feel safer is uniquely specific to each person and their lived experiences and identities.
Understanding Expiration Dates
Every condom package displays an expiration date, usually printed on the box or wrapper. When I first learned this, I thought like many canned foods with an expiration date, that this was fluid and that it really meant you could still consume this for a while longer.... If any of ya'll know me, you know that I am one to keep things well past the expiration date, as this was the vibe in my house, and will continue to be the vibe.... BUT expiration dates for condoms are important!!! This date indicates the end of the manufacturer's recommended use period during which the condom is expected to work effectively.
Using a condom beyond its expiration date can have serious implications. .....
What Happens to a Condom After It Expires?
Once condoms reach their expiration date, their materials begin to break down, leading to a reduction in strength and elasticity. Its like anything that is old, when you try to stretch it, the material can snap much easier...
Material Degradation
Latex, the primary material used in many condoms, deteriorates over time, especially when exposed to heat, humidity, and sunlight. For instance, storing condoms at high temperatures can significantly shorten their lifespan. If you want to carry around condoms, its best to make sure you don't leave them in a sunny place for very long or extended amounts of time. The sun is a powerful thing, and can fade the colors in your clothes, or alter the condoms in your purse..... Even the best-stored condoms may lose effectiveness once the expiration date has passed.
Expired condoms are not just less reliable; they can also increase the odds of unintended pregnancies and STI transmission
The Role of Lubrication
Many condoms are made with added lubricants to enhance comfort during use. However, when a condom is expired, the lubrication can also be affected. The lubricant may dry out, leading to discomfort or increased likelihood of breakage during intercourse. Before using a condom, always check its lubricated state, especially if it is near or past its expiration date and if a condom looks weird, trust your intuition and open up another one!
I love lube, it's such a great and supportive friend. There for you when you need, an ally for those hard moments, and joyful ones.
Condom Usage and Sexy Vibes
Within the world of dating and sex, there is still lots of confusion and feelings around condoms. Whatever genitals you have, in my belief being someone who prioritizes the pleasure and collaborative decisions is important.... What this means is that for me, bringing condoms in your bag for a first date is not slutty, it is not presumptuous or disrespectful. It is being a prepared sex positive person that is just carrying items in their fucking bag! Whether or not you are planning on having sex, or intentionally seeking that out, we all know spontaneity can happen, and it is better to be prepared for either yourself or someone with you than stressed in the moment. If you don't know how to put on an external condom because you are someone with a vagina, there are lots of videos online you can watch, or if you are engaging with someone who has a penis, you can ask them to show you. And vice versa. It's a good skill to have. If you and your partner choose to not use condoms or any protective barriers, it's all good, as long as you have deeply discussed and processed the key aspects of this decision and the implications.
Questions for Clarification and Deep Pondering:
Are you monogamous, or are they having some kind of sexy time with other people?
Are you assuming they are monog with you or have you discussed the parameters of sex within your relationship?
If they are having sex with other people, what is your agreement around barriers and condom use?
How often are ya'll getting tested for STI's?
Do you have access to Plan B or the morning after pill if that is of risk for your body? Or is your access to this contraceptive challenging?
Do you already have a complex history with condoms/barriers with past relationships. Does your partner?
If you have a body that can get pregnant, do you accept that this is a possible risk for you and your partner/s to deal with in the future? What are some strengths you both bring if that does occur?
If your body is one that ovulates, do you know when you are ovulating, do you know how to check for your body's changes ? Does your partner know how to ?
What other questions can you think of?
These are all important because as much as we think sex or a condom can be simple, it's often not and contains more layers than a lasagna. It contains the layers of pleasure and pain, of joy and suffering, of a multitude of experiences and flavors....
Signs of an Expired Condom
While checking the expiration date is essential, it is also crucial to examine the physical condition of the condom before use. Here are signs that indicate a condom might be expired or unsafe to use:
Color Changes: A discolored latex or chalky texture means it’s time to throw it away.
Brittleness: If bending the condom causes it to crack or feel brittle, do not use it.
Unusual Odor: A bad smell is often a sign of degradation; it’s best to discard it.
Tears or Weakness: Inspect for any visible tears or weak spots. A quick check can save you from unexpected problems.
Condoms play a crucial role in sexual health by providing protection against unintended pregnancies and STIs. Understanding what happens when a condom expires is key to ensuring safe practices.
Using an expired condom can lead to compromised material, including brittleness and loss of effectiveness. By carefully checking expiration dates, storing condoms properly, and performing visual inspections before use, you can maintain effective protection. Staying informed about your sexual health products leads to safer experiences.
Prioritize your sexual health by being aware of the condition of the products you use. After all, taking preventive measures is always better than dealing with possible consequences later.
CONDOM RECS:
the great thing about these ones is that they have a sizing kit with so many diverse sizing options, you can get such a custom fit for more pleasure and personalized fit!
the great things about these ones is that they do not contain spermicide which is a common ingredient in condoms. Some people are allergic and have irritation to spermicide, so this is an amazing more natural option.
Kimono condoms
the really nice thing about these is that they are very thin, there are a few options in terms of different sizes but what remains consistent is how thin they are which is great for people who feel that the condom prevents them from experiencing pleasure/sensation.
And honestly, any place that gives out free condoms is my recommendation. Find your local sexual health clinic, hospital, planned parenthood, or sexuality organization. Most give out plenty of condoms, and you can come back very frequently. It's always good to have more than less, and always a great gift to give even if someone is not sexually active, someone they know is.....
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