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Brown sweet yucky-ness, it’s sticky and it was icky and wasn’t fragile and fruity-red or popping-pink. Brown wrinkled textured sugar-sweet like something I didn’t know how to taste. Elementary school was filled with chunky lunch tables and girls who only ate apples or strawberries or sweet cut-up triangles of watermelon from mommy in baggies, but my name means date. The kinda date that you eat when taste buds mature and the color is not the only thing that pzasses or shines. The kinda date that grows in the middle east far away from here, where it’s tropical and humid and skin shines from constant sweat and sweet. The kinda date that’s harvested in 100-degree weather, a man harnessed to the tall palm tree’s slim structure. The kinda date that you never knew needs to be hand-pollinated through collecting that precious male sheaths and hand dusting the female hearty trees. The kinda date that is labor-intensive and fruits with an abundant harvest, or so I’ve been told. At the bars I'll scatter stories, wheel them in, eye contact, pretend meaning, I want my name to be fun and flirty, like the romance in hangouts that are called dates. what does your name mean?,  how exotic!  what an interesting name!  What culture is your name from?  Persian. Israeli. Silence. Drop. Lip pops… “Tamar  the G_R_E_A_T” “Tamar’s  thrown around with Persian-type ideals of female beauty”. “Endowed with the intelligence and courage of a man". “ Tamar  (თამარი) – Goddess who enslaved the Morning Star  and controlled  the weather patterns; was called "eye of the earth" and rode a serpent .” Tamar  like  (Genesis) , daughter-in-law of Judah  in the Bible Tamar  like biblical narratives, pounding,  the daughter of king david, raped by her half brother Amnon. Tamar like Georgian queen of 1160–1213  Tamar  Imereti  Georgian princess, died sometime after? Tamar  Abakelia  Georgian artist in the 20th century  Tamar Ariav  ~ Israeli professor  Tamar Beruchashvili  ~ Georgian politician Tamar Braxton  ~ American singer Tamar Eilam ~ Israeli American computer scientist Tamar  Gendler  ~ American philosopher Tamar  Gozansky  ~ Israeli politician Tamar Halperin  ~ Israeli musician Tamar Jacoby  ~ American writer Tamar  Katz  ~ Israeli figure skater Tamar Simon Hoffs  ~ American film director Tamar  Slay  ~ American basketball player Tamar Tatuashvili  ~ Georgian football player Tamar Hodel  like daughter of Black Dahlia murder  suspect (named after Robinson Jeffers' poem, "Tamar") All these energies in body and shape, i think i'm something like candy and song. My name isn’t easy for anyone but sometimes when I’m alone, it’s easy for me. SO sweet in your mouth falls right off the tongue, not in an easy way, in a kinda-kinky exotified mystified romanticized signified singular sound, two syllables, TA- MAR, big lips round word with feeling.

As I delved into what we call "art" I unpacked the messages of being a "good artist" and of the labeling we and others place onto people. As a self identified artist, i now use that word, but beyond labels and identity, I place emphasis on the erotic, the sensual, and the juicy, because without it, where would we be today? and without eroticism there would be no rain, no sun, no soil, and lastly no fruit.